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Leia-San, Pez Dispenser
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My Visit to Japan, Earth
by Her Plastic Highness, Princess Leia, Pez Dispenser

With the impending release of the latest installment in our highly acclaimed series of rebel propaganda movies, I decided it was time to determine the current location of the emperor himself. After extensive research I determined that he was residing in a territory known on Earth as "Japan." I directed my Earth-based escorts to bring me to this "Japan" at once. There I would make contact with potential new members of the rebel movement!

February 2nd
After a week in this strange land my jet lag had finally worn off. Accompanied by my two very tall royal escorts, I charted a course for the temple of Ryoan-ji. There I discovered these lovely trees. My translator informed me that they are called "Seuss Tree," after a Dr. Seuss whom I assume to have been a very practiced Zen gardener.

Yeah, that little speck is my own Royal Plastic Person! Seuss Trees reminded me of Endor, but indeed I was glad there were none of those stinky little teddy-bear-like critters.

Later that day I directed my entourage on to Kiyo-mizu temple. Once there, I, Ms. Princess Leia, Pez Dispenser, cast aside all royal pretence and rubbed the "Love Stone." To my royal surprise, It worked! (And no, I didn't command my escort to fall madly in love with me. I'm quite confident he was attracted to my royal buns.)

February 5th
At the former Imperial Base of Himeji-jo castle, I put myself in the shoes of an earthly princess from a long-gone era. Her quarters wouldn't even be large enough to house the engineers to oversee my bun-hairdo-maintenance droids!

February 7th
At my royal plastic instruction the taller of my two escorts retired to Tokyo. The sweet-talking blond one then managed transportation to Hiroshima on the "bullet train." It was miserably slow, but my escort insisted it was as close to light speed as they can manage on this primitive planet. My first stop was at Miyajima Island, where I cruelly demanded to be carried to the top of the nearest mountain to take in the view. In the forest we spotted a local shrine, which my escort claims to be the favored religion of the local emperor. Being quite imperial myself, I stopped to receive the greetings of the local deities.

February 12th
Having returned to Tokyo, I directed my diplomatic mission on to the imperial shrines at Nikko. I haven't been that cold since that dreadful ice planet! I almost froze my Royal Plastic Bottom off! Oh, the terrible sufferings that must be endured by royalty.

February 14th
In the imperial capitol of Tokyo I demanded a meeting with local merchants to see about securing supplies for the voyage home. I was pleased to meet Akira, a local admirer of my Royal Plastic Highness. My interplanetary fame had brought me to Akira's attention, and he was more than happy to show us his planet's most advanced technology--wireless videophones from NTT DoCoMo. I was pleased until he revealed that they will only work in imperial territory.

My escort had spent time in a training camp known by the code name, "The Stanford Business School." Several fellow members of his training unit, including the mysterious one known only as "Akira," joined us for a secret meeting. To my surprise they insisted on having their picture taking with myself, Princess Leia, Pez Dispenser. I know in my heart that these imperial citizens were expressing sympathy with the rebel cause. My mission was a success!

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